Flushing The Koran
May 17, 2005
By Douglas B. Wakeman
On news of desecration of copies of the Moslem holy book by Americans, Moslem rioting resulted in the deaths of 17……Moslems! That’ll teach us.
The aggrieved parties have also declared America as ‘The Great Satan” and declared jihad against America! As a result of this radical departure from Islamo-Fascist doctrine, the United States has modified their posture from the odd instance of Koran disrespect by renegade individuals to an official position supporting the desecration of Korans on a massive scale.
A spokesman for the State Department explained, “We realize that we have been remiss in failing to adopt Islamo-fascist doctrines and have thus inflamed their passions against us. To remedy this arrogant, euro-centrist, anti-multiculturalist, non-diversity, nonpluralistic affront to another equally valid culture, we have perused their holy book in an effort to adopt their most holy sacraments. We found that there are really very few; the rape, plunder and genocide of peoples who do not hold their beliefs, and the sacking, destruction, plundering, dynamiting and burning of the holy places and relics of any other faith. We hope to mollify their enmity by practicing these same doctrines on a greater scale than the occasional desecration of their holy book.”
A Republican spokesman noted that an added benefit is that, "In their propensity to riot and kill each other when presented with our degradations of their faith, their odious ranks will tend toward decimation."
Whether through attrition via internecine rioting, or mollification through adoption of their methods, the hope is that we can come to some accommodation with the members of “the faith.”
