Social Justice

July 29, 2002

By Douglas B. Wakeman

"I got a notice today that I need to go down to the Social Justice Center."

"What for this time?"

"Oh, they need a heterosexual male of European descent. Apparently, they have revised the figures for the number of African slaves transported here against their will in the 17th century. Some ship's log came to light adding 200 slaves to the quota for 1668."

"Oh, honey, not another whipping?"

"Yeah, probably. I only hope our justice petition for your ancestors' suffering at the hands of the Moors back in 1237 gets accepted. It would really be great to know that someone, somewhere, with dark skin will have a hand cut off."

"Well, sweetie, you know it's not very likely. If the colonialism grievance clause is accepted into HR 2,132,445 it will be years of killings and confiscations of whites by blacks before the scales of social justice come back into balance. My friend Robert, at work, really has it made these days. He's a black homosexual communist, so he is being compensated for discrimination of all kinds as well as for the HUAC hearings. But, get this; he won his case proving that ancient Rome built the Colliseum on land owned by people whose DNA matches his on more than 50% of points! So, he must be compensated by all Italians, Catholics, and lions. He's down at the center every day, whipping white people, getting checks from Italians, and getting oral sex from straight right-wingers."

"Oh, no! He's not in our district is he?"